Those new fangled TVs, what a pain to clean, amirite? All these smudges and fingerprints seem to turn up from nowhere and you only friggin’ notice in the middle of your Dark Knight Blu-ray when all the dark parts—which are supposed to be a beautiful crisp blackness—instead feature all these touch marks and streaks which show up all over Batman’s costume.
You don’t wanna get up; so you kinda put up with it, pretending not to notice. But in reality they’re burning into your retina like the little bastards of annoyance that they are.
What we need is a very slick little windscreen wiper that will give the TV a nice, smooth polish when you press a button on your remote. In fact there should be two buttons, one for a clean, and one for a quick swipe for times when a little fucking fly has decided to land on Maggie Gyllenhaal’s face for about five minutes.
I reckon Batman would have come up with this if Alfred wasn’t around to give his Bat-TV a good going over every day.